the first time i felt lonely by lesley so, i was in fifth grade and i was having this all-girl slumber party and i was really excited about it. i felt nervous because i wasn't sure if the cool kids would show up and i really wanted everyone to like me and i was insecure and worried about all kinds of other things. my mom and i got the house all ready for the party. my finishing touch, the piece de la resistance in my mind, were these little party games that i begged my mom to purchase for all my guests. i put together these tiny packages for everyone with pixie sticks and these games. the games were those little plastic things with cardboard backs that had the metal balls in them and you tried to get the balls into different slots and each had a certain amount of points. each game for each guest was different and i probably even paid enough attention to detail to give each guest the patterned and colored game that i thought they would like best. the night of the party came and everyone i invited arrived in their best striped ensembles. i was a wreck the whole time because i thought that no one was having fun and no one wanted to do anything i suggested and i felt like a failed hostess. i didn't like my first slumber party, even though all the guests did because they invented their own games, games that i didn't want to play. i mean it went off in true slumber party fashion. there was a fight between two groups of girls, each passing furious notes back and forth to the other. there was much hairstyling and playing with my older sister's makeup. there was talk of making out with our geeky boy counterparts. but i didn't enjoy my party. this wasn't the part where i felt the loneliest i've ever felt. this was not it at all. i didn't think about feeling lonely at this point, i just felt a weird sort of feeling. the loneliness part kicked in the next day: next---->