Update 24

Firenze

hey there,

Lorna had to drag me out of Sicily. Soooo beautiful there. Now we're in Florence, and the food is considerably better, and the weather has turned warm. There are a zillion tourists, however, and I think I might be looking forward to getting out of this place where I hear nearly as much Inglese on the street as Italiano. I think we might split for the hills, like maybe Sienna or San Giosomething. Tuscany very much rocks though, in a food kind of way.

The art is the big attraction in Florence, I guess, but I'm not getting the strongest contemporary art feeling here. And honestly speaking, I can't tell the "masterpieces" from the random statues that no one ever talks about. It's like were looking at some fountain, and it's cool and all, and then we realize it's a masterpiece. Oh yeah, huh. Wow. neat. And then we go down the street where there is some other statue that is really quite nice and there's barely a plaque and no mention in our guide book (Rough Guide, yeah right, more like the Ritzy Guide. Did someone tell Europe they could start charging uptown New York prices for like, EVERYTHING?).

Anyway, thinking we might get to Venice or Genoa or Balogna before we leave. (Did you know that Basil Pesto is from Genoa? I did not know that.)

Hope you all are getting your craft on tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, or whenever the Church of Craft is meeting up. Because it's now that matters, not the past.

love,
Bill


3.18.04 11:02amest



Update 23

The following was posted on the *Bush-B-Gone Tribe @ tribe.net:

George W Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.

"Billy."..."And what is your question, Billy?"

"I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. George W Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George W says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right question time. Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand. George W points him out and asks him what his name is.

"Steve"..."And what is your question, Steve?"

"I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the f**k happened to Billy?"

--Jaméz Smith


3.16.04 9:40ampst



Update 22

Thank you bk

Might I also add "snack attack" to your list?

It's too dramatic for me. It conjures up images of a wild-eyed woman in a t-shirt throwing herself at cupcakes and chips. ack.

--Emily


3.16.04 9:29ampst



Update 21

I got the new Found magazine this week. I am an avid reader/lover of Found and have been sending them my treasures for the last year. Which is why I'm trying really hard to not feel rejected because none of my finds have made an issue yet.

These people find the beauty in other people's trash. Do they consider my beautiful finds trash like the people who left them behind? I'd like to think that I have had a gem or two.

I'm not even cool enough to be in the garbage pickers club. And that sucks my ass.

--Rha Sha-Shaw


3.15.04 4:49pmpst



Update 20

Least favorite words featured in commercials I heard while watching TV all weekend long, because it was too warm to play outside:

10. piping-hot

9. juicy

8. sinful

7. ooey-gooey

6. lightbulb (with the second "b" over-pronounced)

5. pitch-perfect

4. plump

3. loaf

2. kitchen-fresh chicken

1. smothered

--bk


3.15.04 1:39pmpst



Update 19

If you missed out on the LA Barmitzvah scene while growing up, I suggest you take a look at this (requires Windows Media Player). Who said Jews can't dance?

And here's the blog of the moment.

--Mistress Pootie


3.11.04 10:23pmpst



Update 18

buon giorno

hi all,

i'm in Palermo, Sicily. totally groovy place. we should start up an exodus and create an ex-pat scene over here. the open-air markets are particularly charming, with lots of great produce and fresh fish. but the traffic is wacko, and to get across the street the pedestrians sort of have to storm it, oncoming cars be damned.

Naples was insane, like near anarchy. more charming than Rome, which was beautiful and everything, but slightly self-satisfied and sterile (in a relative sense, compared with Naples and Palermo).

Also got to check out the scene in Pompeii and Herculaneum, which was bumping. The amphitheater (which was more like a full stadium) at Pompeii was particularly rad, but the mosaics at Herculaneum kicked butt. missed the archeological museum in Naples, but we are considering going back to check it.

Also got to see the Norman mosaics at Monreale near Polermo today, which were incredible, but I'm up to here with the christian death cult.

i scored a digital camera before i left, so i'm trying to take as many pics as possible, but they don't really capture what it's like to be looking at the dude deep frying the boiled artichoke stems and then when he's coming over and giving you some fried herbed gnocci thing to try. nor do they capture the dudes chillin like villains in front of their fish stand, with the eel wrapped in a circle upon itself, and the squid and octopus up front and center, and the head of a swordfish rising like a church spire in the back, just to let you know he's got the dope ass ride if you want it.

so much cultre here, it's crazy.

miss you all and looking forward to getting busy with creations of all kinds when i get back.

please forward this on to anyone who is (for whatever misguided reason) not reading the daily discharge and who might be interested in getting an ex-pat posse together.

love,
bill


3.11.04 3:48amest



Update 17

I love this quote from Filter magazine's article on the release of a new Modest Mouse album:

"... years passed with no word from Modest Mouse, and the people grew restless. They were forced to seek out inspiration in other places, many of which were dirty, messy, and just plain wrong. (I mean, electroclash?! Really?! Is that necessary?)"

--Jaméz Smith


3.10.04 8:33ampst



Update 16

There is a boy in my neighborhood who I keep running into. I have only seen him for about the last 2 months. He is about 12, and every time I see him he is wearing red short and white tank top that accentuates his young cubby boy breast. And every time I see him he is carrying a small pizza box from Domino's.

Does he eat this pizza all by himself or is he just taking it to someone? Does he do this every day or just when I happen to see him? What's on the pizza? I'm trying to decide if following this little mystery man is a sick and twisted idea or just absolutely necessary.

I need answers.

--Rha Sha-Shaw


3.9.04 3:32pmpst



Update 15

I'm annoyed about Martha's convictions. She's one of the few artists who's never felt the need to infuse her work with messy, self-serving Political masturbation over third-world countries, the oppressed, or the lazy, which is lame. The feminist movement of the late '60s nearly succeeded in killing, amongst so many other things, the culinary arts in this country, opening the door to our present fast-food nation. Martha was one of the few who had the forethought to retrieve a dying and important skill that our country carelessly threw in the wastebasket. (Thanks Ms. Steinem, you cunt.) She's being busted for being a lifestylist, and I think that blows. In honor, I'm going to go buy Martha's Entertaining. Then bake a cake. Or buy some cold-pressed olive oil. Or learn how to fold a cloth napkin.

--bk


3.9.04 10:57ampst



Update 14

The myth of Icarus and designer Venetian blinds

I was watching tv this morning and came across CNN's "90 Second Pop" -- a segment where three entertainment experts discuss the entertainment issues of the week. It's like VH1's "Best Week Ever," but shorter and less funny. The topics on the agenda this week included The Passion, some other thing which I've already forgotten (POP!), and the trial of Martha Stewart. I wish I could say I've never seen people so excited about someone's downfall, but sadly, that's far from the truth. In reality, we seem to like nothing more in this culture than to build someone up, let them enjoy their success, and then remind them of their place.

Let me make a couple things clear: I don't really like Martha Stewart. I find her to be classist and offensive. She bristles whenever someone questions her authority be it a guest expert, family member, or the old salt fisherman she brought on once to talk about Sea Urchin Roe (watching Martha scoop and slurp eggs from a freshly "harvested" sea creature was a horrifying image that's stuck with me to this day).

But her lack of humbleness isn't what she's being persecuted for. OR IS IT? One of the commentators this morning compared Martha Stewart to Icarus, the young Greek lad who in his hubris flew to close to the sun and melted the beautiful artificial wings his father had created allowing him to soar. Martha Stewart created centerpieces and window treatments and then got caught in the sort of white collar crime that's perpetuated every day. Martha did commit a crime, and she should be punished, but isn't her success and visibility the reason she makes such a successful object lesson? Some people have hypothesized that it happened because America can't stomach a successful, powerful woman, and I think that to some degree that's true. But more than that I think it has something to do with the way we treat our heroes. Take a look at an "Behind the Music" or "True Hollywood Story" and you can see our modern mythos: Meteoric Rise to Fame, Decadent Orgies of Mythic Proportions, The Inevitable Fall, and finally Heart-Touching but Mostly Pathetic Recovery.

We want to believe that we can become more than we are, and then we want to be vicariously titillated by the options this success unlocks, while still maintaining our right to puritanically judge the glitterati. We get to exalt them, live through them, but still maintain that "we might not be as rich or as purty, but we still knows our rights from our wrongs." Eventually decadence leads to self-destruction or at least destruction in the courts of popular opinion as the shooting star falls back to earth. Then it's a long road back to recovery and maybe eventual guest starring roles on tv sitcoms or "where are they now?" specials, as the star is allowed to rise again, but rarely quite as high.

We want to believe that success is possible but we become jealous when it belongs to someone else. We tear them down, but then we show our mercy and forgiveness by embracing them as they climb back from the fall that we've culturally orchestrated. It's not horrible unlike ancient pagan rituals of treating a young lad as a king for a year and a day and then ritually slaughtering them to preserve the fertility/luck/success of a kingdom. Build up. Tear down. We want to watch you fly high but not quite as much as we love to watch you burn.

If Horatio Algers was alive today, would his typical story trajectory be "rags to riches to 4 counts felonies and misdemeanors with 10 to 20 and some hope of parole?"

--mikedawson


3.8.04 1:35pmest



Update 13

Purim

today's purim, the jewish holiday on which it's recommended that you get so drunk that you can't tell the difference between "cursed be Haman" and "blessed be Mordecai." also, it's a good day for sharing food, holding beauty contests, and cross dressing.

i found out about it from lesley at work, who's lou reed's niece. she gave me some turkish delight.

--jol


3.8.04 9:34amest



Update 12

Rhoda

Hey, I was just thinking that since Rhoda, Mary's Apocryphal Sister (and CubbyVision cast member), is Jesus's aunt, that makes her the Auntie-Christ.

--brian