President, Accidentally Assassinated.
Ronald Bonemaker, the Cubby Creatures' candidate for president, was accidentally assassinated on Friday, November 3, while campaigning on the corner of Mission and 24th Streets in the Mission District of San Francisco. Television viewers in San Francisco were able to witness the killing as it occurred because Bonemaker was being recorded for live "cable-cast" on the Cubby Creatures' public access show CubbyVision, which airs at five o'clock the first Friday of every month.
In a last-ditch effort to make himself known to the residents of San Francisco before Tuesday's election, Ronald Bonemaker was handing out fliers, talking to people on the street ,and allowing himself to be taped for the live cable-cast when an unidentified man in what one bystander called "an outrageous get-up" pulled out a gun and started yelling at Huck Forest, the host of CubbyVision, who was on location with Bonemaker Friday. Apparently Bonemaker, along with Huck Forest and Cubby Creature bassist Brian Weaver, who was there helping Ronald campaign, courageously tried to seize the gun from the unidentified man when the gun went off striking Bonemaker in the chest.
No one knows who the strangely fashioned gunman was, but Huck Forest told reporters that he had been attacked by the man once before on his show, that time in the City Visions studio during a live cable-cast of the CubbyVision show. Huck went on to say that he considers the man a stalker and believes "that troubled individual is in need of some serious psychological help."
To make things even stranger, when Brian Weaver, who drove Bonemaker to the hospital, arrived at SF General, Bonemaker's body, which had been placed into the backseat of Brian Weaver's car, was nowhere to be found. "One minute he was there and the next minute he wasn't," Weaver told reporters. "All that was left were his bloody clothes. I took them into the hospital, but the nurse at the desk in the emergency room said they didn't treat clothes."
The rest of the Cubby Creatures have been unavailable for comment, but the Rev. Myrtle Motivation, who was live on the set of CubbyVision Friday guest hosting the show while Huck Forest was live on location with Bonemaker, stated that they were not blaming Brian for Bonemaker's death, since Brian did stop at a gas station on his way to the hospital while Bonemaker was still alive in the backseat of his car. "We're only blaming that misguided maniac, Huck's stalker," said the Reverend.
As of now, Bonemaker's killer is still on the loose and is considered armed and dangerous. He is described as a tall, dark and handsome young man with a blue moustache, strange headgear and gaudy pants. If you have any information regarding the identity of this man, you are encouraged to call the San Francisco police department.
